By The New Africa Magazine
On International Women’s Day, The New Africa Magazine hosted a compelling live conversation with Moroccan author, journalist, artist, and gender advocate Karima Rhanem to discuss her latest novel, No One Was Stolen. What unfolded was more than a literary discussion it was an exploration of silence, emotional labor, responsibility, and the social expectations placed on women across cultures.
Rhanem’s newest book examines the hidden emotional burdens many women carry within relationships, families, and professional environments. Through fiction grounded in lived experiences, she addresses what she describes as “silent violence,” a form of emotional harm that often goes unrecognized but has profound consequences for mental health and wellbeing.
At the heart of No One Was Stolen lies a powerful challenge to a widely accepted narrative: the idea that a third person can “steal” someone’s partner. According to Rhanem, this belief distracts from deeper issues that already exist within relationships.
“Human beings are not objects that can be stolen,” Rhanem explained during the interview. “When a relationship breaks down, it is often the result of a long process of silence, imbalance, and lack of communication. Blaming a third party may feel easier, but it avoids confronting the real problems.”
A Story Born from Real Conversations
The inspiration for No One Was Stolen emerged from a conversation Rhanem had with a woman in Morocco who believed another woman had taken her husband away. As their conversation unfolded, the woman admitted that communication in her marriage had stopped years earlier. The couple shared the same home but spoke only about daily logistics.
“There was a profound silence between them,” Rhanem said. “They were not communicating about emotions, concerns, or frustrations. Over time, that silence created distance and discomfort for both partners.”
This moment stayed with Rhanem and eventually became the foundation of the novel. Instead of framing the story as a traditional narrative of betrayal, she chose to explore the emotional dynamics that lead relationships to deteriorate long before a third person appears.
In the novel, three characters Mariam, Youssef, and Nora find themselves entangled in a complex emotional triangle. However, Rhanem intentionally avoids portraying any character as entirely guilty or innocent.
For her, the novel is not about assigning blame. It is about understanding how silence, emotional imbalance, and unspoken frustrations can slowly undermine relationships.
The Hidden Weight of Emotional Labor
A central theme in No One Was Stolen is the concept of emotional labor, particularly the invisible work many women perform in relationships.
In the story, Mariam represents the partner who manages the visible structure of family life work, children, and household responsibilities. Nora, the third character, carries another type of burden: she absorbs the emotional struggles of Youssef, the husband.
Through these characters, Rhanem illustrates how women often become emotional caretakers without recognition or support.
“Women are frequently expected to absorb tension, solve problems, and keep everyone emotionally stable,” she explained. “But when someone carries that burden alone, it eventually affects their wellbeing.”
This dynamic reflects a broader social expectation placed on women to remain resilient and self-sacrificing, regardless of the emotional cost.
Challenging the “Superwoman” Myth
One of the strongest messages in Rhanem’s work is her critique of the “Superwoman” myth the belief that women should be able to manage everything effortlessly.
According to Rhanem, this idea is often presented as empowerment but can become deeply harmful in practice.
“The Superwoman myth suggests that a woman should handle everything: family responsibilities, emotional support, professional success, and social expectations,” she said. “But when people believe a woman can manage everything, they stop making their own efforts.”
Over time, this leads to an imbalance where one person carries the majority of emotional and practical responsibilities in a relationship.
Rhanem believes this expectation is particularly dangerous because it normalizes exhaustion and silence.
“When you are seen as the person who will always solve the problem, people begin to rely on you,” she explained. “Eventually, you may find yourself doing the work of many people while your own needs disappear.”
Through No One Was Stolen, Rhanem encourages readers to question this narrative and recognize that strength should not mean endless sacrifice.
The Reality of Silent Violence
Another important concept explored in the novel is what Rhanem calls “silent violence.”
Unlike physical abuse, silent violence often leaves no visible evidence. It can take the form of emotional neglect, manipulation, psychological pressure, or the silent treatment within relationships and workplaces.
Because these experiences are difficult to prove, they are frequently ignored by legal systems and social institutions.
“Many women experience silent violence in their daily lives,” Rhanem said. “It is invisible, but it has a powerful impact on mental health, confidence, and productivity.”
She believes that recognizing and naming these experiences is an important step toward change.
The novel therefore serves not only as a story but also as a form of social reflection, inviting readers to examine the emotional dynamics within their own relationships.
The Importance of Boundaries
Throughout the conversation, Rhanem emphasized the importance of boundaries in both personal and professional life.
Many women, she said, grow up believing that saying “no” is selfish or disrespectful. As a result, they continue accepting responsibilities and emotional burdens that eventually become overwhelming.
“Learning to say ‘no’ at the right time is essential,” Rhanem explained. “Boundaries are not a sign of disrespect toward others they are a form of respect for yourself and for the relationship.”
Setting boundaries may sometimes create tension, especially if people are accustomed to someone always being available. However, Rhanem believes that maintaining healthy limits ultimately strengthens relationships and protects mental wellbeing.
From Fiction to Advocacy
While No One Was Stolen is a work of fiction, it is deeply connected to Rhanem’s broader advocacy work.
As a gender expert and civil society activist, she has spent years working with women who have experienced gender-based violence and social inequality. Through these interactions, she has heard countless personal stories that shaped her understanding of silence, resilience, and emotional endurance.
“The characters are fictional,” she explained, “but the emotions and experiences are inspired by real stories I have heard from many women and sometimes men over the years.”
Rhanem views storytelling as a powerful tool for raising awareness and encouraging dialogue around issues that are often considered private or taboo.
Empowering Women Through Emotional Intelligence
Beyond her writing, Rhanem has also created two platforms dedicated to personal development and leadership: Kalia Mindset and RISE.
These initiatives focus on emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and the development of leadership skills, particularly among women and young people.
According to Rhanem, one of the biggest challenges many individuals face is recognizing their own abilities.
“Sometimes people have important skills but they do not see them as skills,” she explained. “For example, resilience is a powerful ability, yet many women practice resilience every day without realizing it.”
Through workshops and training programs, the platforms encourage participants to reflect on their experiences, identify their strengths, and build confidence in their potential.
Rhanem believes that emotional intelligence is increasingly important in a rapidly changing world, especially as social and professional environments continue to evolve.
The Role of Art in Social Change
In addition to writing and advocacy, Rhanem is also a painter and poet. She believes that art can play a unique role in communicating complex social issues.
“Art reaches people in a different way,” she said. “Sometimes a painting, a poem, or a story can express emotions and ideas more powerfully than a formal discussion.”
Throughout her career, she has used creative approaches including theatre, painting, and storytelling to help young people understand topics such as human rights, gender equality, and social justice.
By combining art with education, she hopes to make complex concepts more accessible and meaningful.
A Message for Readers
At the end of the interview, Rhanem summarized the core message she hopes readers will take from No One Was Stolen.
First, she believes that silence should not always be seen as a virtue.
Second, individuals must take responsibility for their actions and relationships rather than shifting blame onto others.
Finally, she emphasizes the importance of self-respect and mental health.
“We should never forget ourselves,” she said. “Taking care of your wellbeing is not selfish it is necessary for a healthy life and healthy relationships.”
Through No One Was Stolen, Karima Rhanem invites readers to reflect on the emotional dynamics that shape their lives. By challenging the myth of the Superwoman and confronting the culture of silence, her work encourages a more honest and balanced understanding of relationships, responsibility, and personal wellbeing.
In doing so, the novel becomes more than a literary work. It becomes a call for awareness, dialogue, and change.
